More Tips & Quiz

Wondering why he didn't call you back? Take this QUIZ! {click here}

Plus 3 Hot Tips for Women

(Things I learned by extracting candid confessions from 1,000 single men!)


1) Never send a "Thank You" email after a date
Men told me that while they appreciate the "Thank You Email" after a date, it ultimately causes them to lose interest in a woman because men like the chase. They told me that when they receive your email (or text) the morning after a date, they do NOT think, "Oh,what good manners she has to thank me again!" Rather, they think it really means you like them. It's more deflating than endearing because, if he liked you too, he wanted to contact you first and pursue you.

Thank him graciously at the end of the date, but don't steal his thunder the next day. And if you don't hear from him at all? He's just not that into you, of course. He's a big boy and knows how to contact you if he wants to see you again. Your email isn't subtle when sent under the pretext of a "thank you."

2. Do the fake-purse grab when the dinner check arrives
I conducted a national poll and asked men how they prefer women handle the arrival of the dinner check on the first date. The good news is that chivalry is not dead! A surprising 84% of men said they expect to pay for the meal, but they want to know their gesture is appreciated. They don't want to feel that the WOMAN EXPECTS them to pay. For this reason, they prefer the "fake-purse grab" to the "blind eye."

So don't ignore that check and pretend you don't see it... just reach for your purse and say sweetly, "May I contribute to this?" The vast majority of the time he will decline your offer, at which point you can thank him sincerely. If he allows you to split the bill, you probably won't be hearing from him again (or if he does call back, it's doubtful he's interested in anything serious with you).

3) Never say "Never"

According to my Exit Interviews with 1,000 single guys, one of the big reasons they don't call back is "The Never Ever Mistake." When a woman makes an emphatic or absolute statement, a guy begins to question a possible future with her. For example, one New York woman emphasized how much she loved living in New York by telling her date, "I'd never leave this city! My job, my family, my friends are all here; there's no place like New York!" Because he grew up on the west coast, he wasn't sure he'd always want to stay in New York, especially after he had kids. He'd enjoyed their dinner together, but the next day he decided she was geographically inflexible and didn't have long-term relationship potential. He took her "never ever" statement literally, even though one day she might have moved for compelling reasons, especially if they were married.

Men shared other statements that women made on first dates such as "I would never live in a cold climate," "I would never adopt," and "I would never stop working after I had kids." A guy may eventually accept your "never ever," but why put him to the test so early? Don't shoot the messenger, but let me just say that everything is negotiable when you're truly in love and you evaluate situations as a couple, or as a family, rather than as an individual.

Simply avoid those categorical statements early on, when the guy you're dating doesn't know you well enough to gauge whether you're just speaking enthusiastically and expressing a strong preference, or whether you're totally inflexible.